Finding the Meaning, Joy and Purpose…

…in the chaos and the crazy

My Epiphany…or My DUH Moment… You Choose…

hugging

Maybe you’ve realized this…and maybe I’m really dense…but after writing Thank You For Being There…

I had a lightbulb moment…

Not all distractions are bad!!!

Well DUH!

I am sometimes amazed at how the simplest things are hidden in my mind.

Taking care of my son that night while he had a migraine (and ironically I had a horrible headache) was the last thing on my to do list that night.  And I guess, in reality, I could’ve not laid with him, held the puke bucket, prayed relentlessly, rubbed his back, or tried to comfort him.  But in the amazing blessing of the way God has made me…not ‘being there’ for him wasn’t even a choice for me.  It never crossed my mind.

I was both encouraged and saddened to hear from a friend after she read that post, that she wished her mom would’ve comforted her when she was a child like I did for Monkey Boy that night.  I truly can’t imagine not ‘being there’ for one of my kids in a situation like that.  I know that she has changed that cycle in her family, and I thank God for that.

God has blessed me with so many beautiful distractions.

And when I don’t give that hug, that smile, that word of encouragement, a moment of time to really listen,  the person who would receive it isn’t the only one missing out.  I miss out too.  I miss out on the joy and purpose that God has given me…to enjoy those He has placed in my life, to love them well and most importantly, to point them to Him.

May I not miss another beautiful God-given distraction in the midst of my chaos and crazy…and may I love my distractions well.

What God-given distractions do you need to give more attention, more love?
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Giving Up…

give up

Did you miss me?

I sure hope you did…because I missed you!  But I have a great excuse reason!  This weekend we had ‘family’ in town.  Actually, it was my oldest son, Joshua, …by ‘adoption’!  (were you thinking I had a big secret I was keeping from you? 😉  Years ago, when we were still living in Pennsylvania, we had the opportunity and blessing to spend time with a great group of college students from Valley Forge Christian College.  The group helped run the children’s ministries at our church.  We loved these kids…like our own.  They hung out at our house, babysat our kids (for free laundry services;), dog sat, house sat, and hopefully, found our home as a safe place to escape their small campus.  A place they felt loved, valued, and appreciated.  Thinking back, I bet they didn’t feel those things as strongly as I would’ve liked.  The busyness of life, working fulltime, 3 little kids, running a home, distracted me from focusing on my priorities the way I wish I could’ve at the time.  I wish I had been so much more intentional with my time, my talents, my words, my attention.  I wish I had done more to invest in this group of young people God placed in our lives.

Enough about my regrets…

But in the next few days, I’m going to be sharing more about the visit we had with our ‘son’.  He is preparing to go to Turkey to be a missionary for the next 3 years.  3 years!!!  Turkey!!!  He’s amazing, God is amazing…I want to tell you so much more about him.  And brag on God and how He has called our precious loved one to share the Gospel on the Silk Road.  Maybe I’ll ask him to write a post to share his vision and call with you. 😉

So what does all that have to do with why I haven’t posted in days?

We were blessed to have Josh stay with us for a few days.  Before he came, I naively thought I could keep up my writing with him here.  Silly me…I should know myself better than that!  So I didn’t write…I didn’t post anything…and now I struggle to get back into the routine of writing.  I have started, and stopped so many things.  Countless projects, crafts, weight loss plans, exercise regimens, cleaning programs, get organized plans…the list goes on…and on…and on.  I think you get the point.

So as I’ve gotten out of the routine of writing and posting, my natural ‘go to’ personality response is…’You didn’t keep up with it…great job Melissa, another thing you tried, and failed at. Surprise, surprise.   You should know this is where you’d find yourself.  You don’t finish anything you start.’

Harsh…and true.  And I have a feeling a lot of you can relate to that inner dialog…a little too well.

So…here’s what I’m going to change to dialog to:

“Yup, you stopped writing…for a FEW DAYS!  It’s not the end of the world.  There’s no one telling you that you can’t ever write again.  You’re not kicked out of the #Write31Days group.  So put on your big girl panties, pull up your brave girl boots, and KEEP GOING!  There is NOTHING stopping you!  You’ve got this girl!!!”

And as I remind myself of these words, I will find freedom from the perfectionism trying to distract me from what God has called me to do in this season of my life:  Share His love, His word, His encouragement with whoever He brings to read these words that He helps me craft.  If it’s one person, one thousand, one million, I just desire to be faithful to Him as I share my perspective on the life, this side of eternity, that He has blessed me with.

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I Wish We Could Do This More Often…

Come to me

His words pierced my heart.

I sat, for just a few spare, stolen moments, in my favorite chair with the best 9-year-old in the world snuggled in my lap.  My arms were wrapped tightly around him.

“I love you.  I wish we could do this more often.”

And I told him how much I wish we could too…started to talk about how if he’d just do his morning routine like he’s supposed to…and then I caught myself.  Don’t let the distractions and perfection get in the way of this moment. Let them go.

So I just sat for a moment, savoring his body melting into mine.  Trying to breathe in the moment and memorize it forever.  How big he’s getting, but how childlike he still is.  How he still loves to hold my hand or curl up in my lap.  I know from having my two other, older boys, before long, he won’t fit in my lap.  He won’t want to be wrapped in my arms.

And then God placed a thought in my mind.  I wish we could have more moments like this.  My arms wrapped around you, just being together for a quiet moment.  I wish we could do this more often.

Oh how that cut me to the core.  So convicting.  And so loving.  Only my Father can point out such painful truth with such enduring, gentle love.  And make it feel like a love song, instead of condemnation.  Only He can use the whispers of a child to remind me of all I need to let go, and why.  To have quiet moments wrapped in His arms.  My soul aches for this…and my To Do list says no.  My distractions scream no. My battle with perfection hollers no.  But He says YES. 

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

And I know, that in the moment I come to Him, weary and burdened, tired and groggy, joyful and energized, sad and sorrowful, distracted and battling, He will give me rest.  And He will wrap His arms around me, and take in the moment.  Think of me fondly.  And sing His love over me.

And I couldn’t want anything more.

 

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Perfection…

MIchael J Fox

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